Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Back to: Archived Jokes. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. A: Nothing came up. Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" New generic drug replacement for Viagra – it's called Mycoxaflopin. << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." It had been a long time—seven years to be exact—since my friend Brian had been to see his doctor. A: A Roverdose! Q: How are enemas and divorces alike? Medical Doctor Pick Up Lines! You got your vision back! Avoid heavy lifting. "How come you are sweating?" "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house, An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Q: What do you call a doctor that fixes websites? Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. BAD EATING HABITS A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Returning visitor? "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You have tennis elbow. Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. They aren't yours. Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? A: By The taste. Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. Celebrity Jokes! See TOP 10 doctor one liners. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband! Joke has 77.33 % from 187 votes. Your dog has worms. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! 30 Extremely Dirty Jokes You’ll Want To Tell Your Best Friends (But Never Your Parents) 50 Of The Funniest ‘Dead Baby Jokes’ Of All Time. ", Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Sometimes you need a little humor to get you through the day. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Q: What happened when the man tried to search for information about impotence on the Internet? ", A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Dirty Jokes! A: He made a spectacle of himself "Your tap water is too hard. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! Q: What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG? "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." Get him vitamins. This helps a little. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken? Q: What's the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital? he asks. A: "Do you see any change in me?" by Team Scary Mommy. Q: What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. Q: What's the medical term for owning too many dogs? A: Yes, but only if you aim it well enough. Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like. Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Enjoy our funny medical jokes and puns. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare. September 9, 2019 Updated November 4, 2020. When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. A: At first they are both pretty crappy but in the long run they feel pretty good! Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." Do you know a good joke which isn't here. A: A double blind study! The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." More jokes about: dirty, medical, parrot, viagra. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. Soak your arm in warm water.
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